How are you?

 

Debbie Zelamba Loves Me

By

Bernard Robert O’Brien

www.bernardrobertobrien.com

I was going to start writing a new book, but it’s too late now and I am going it is to try and sleep.    It is a case of complete and utter insomnia. It is the early morning hours of the 4^th of October 2021. It’s eviction season in Southern California. I had a strange experience on the last day of September last year that included the fact that the book of Matthew would lead you to believe that perhaps John the Baptist was allergic to fish. I had a vision of a mushroom cloud in the distance on the northern side of the building at the corner of 11^th and Burlington near the old Bonnie Brae section of Los Angeles and there was a picture I had of Yeshua of Nazareth that came alive and I watched intently as Jesus moved his right arm and hand up and down in the same way that Trump did when he was making fun of someone who was handicapped and I was upset a little because I felt like Jesus was mocking me.

   And then I remember I called it THE DAY OF THE LOCUST in my mind because a giant bug appeared on the wall close to the entrance to the apartment that R and E management approved me for even though I did not have a job at the time.

It was a chap with a beard named Israel that had me do the paperwork. Well I moved into this old 107 year old studio apartment in early July of 2020. I remember watching the 4 th of July fireworks from the open window and at the time I had no idea of the crazy shit that was going to go down in the neighborhood in the coming months.

They broke into my apartment after I left the building out of my normal state of mind in the early hours of October the 1^st. Like I used to always tell good old Ryan Murray I had a series of strange experiences and at the end of it I placed the palms of my hands on my eyes and I felt as though I was looking at electricity. There were white snow flakes spinning around and I also saw like flaming images coming from the electric socket like the ones that Bill Maher spoke skeptically about in his excellent movie Religiously.

For me it was the day of the locust because I was here in LA and this giant bug I thought might me a locust appeared on the wall. It was the beginning of a crazy time.

Man this insomnia is really kicking my ass in a big way today. I know it has a lot to do with making a bow on the Monday morning of the 23^rd of August 2021 to stop abusing Marijuana.

Later that same say I ended up going back to the old Beacon of Dope and after much nervous deliberation talking to Darius and Alexander ended up giving them a check for $300 and I stayed there a painful Two weeks and even now I can feel the latest bed bug bite on my right elbow from last night when I also had hellish insomnia and was mucking around trying to mine Bitcoin on the Internet.

Now at 618am I can hear the garbage trucks begin their morning routes and I’m going to call my Mother soon and talk to her. She has been vicious with me over the past few phone calls I have had with her…

She is not home probably at a Doctors appointment. Her name is Kay Ready and she was born in Lancaster England to Annie my grandma that killed herself before I was born by putting her head in the gas oven and my grandad Rody Cawley from Tipperary Ireland the oldest of a large family. He was in Palestine being shot at a long time ago.

I can see the light coming up outside now and on my night sky app I can see the rising sun is right on Virgo. I feel nauseous…

 I went to have some granola and feel a little better.

 

I ended up getting some sleep thanks to an Ibuprofen tablet that I took. Bubba Wallace won the rain shortened race at Talladegga. It is 302pm on the 4^th of October, 2021. My name is Bernard. I am probably on the verge of losing the studio apartment that I live in. It is exactly one year ago to the day that the dumb stupid fucking manager had Rampart bust open my door.

I have a son in Arizona that I miss a lot. My nature is to avoid the real world as much as possible and writing for me is therapy so I don’t care much what I end up writing. No one goes near my books anyway.

When I look to my right now I can see a piece of paper with an image of the solitary hero YAMANTAKA on it. I printed it out at the library a few weeks ago. The mantra is Om YAMANTAKA hum phat om ah hum.

I can hear Debbie ZELAMBA’s two children having fun outside her shop. It is at the corner of 11^th and Burlington in Los Angeles 90015. I am a slacker when it comes to society and work. I don’t have anything else to say now but I am going to continue writing anyway…

 

I went out in the rain and saw Debbie and her kids and bought a pizza and gave some to Mark McMurray of Patterson New Jersey, not Trenton which is the capital, but Patterson, the place where Allen Ginsberg was from and then the crazy guy that ran at me with a knife came and punched him in the mouth and then Mark threw his pizza on the floor and then I stopped writing in the plaza near Pollo Campero and walked home and a company named Money Lion is a piece of shit like my building manager is a piece of shit. I went to buy a small image that Debbie had of Jesus but she didn’t think she had it.

 

There is nothing within me today: I am a ghost, an empty machine that feels nothing and says nothing. There is no need to mention the date or the time. There is nothing to say. Om YAMANTAKA hum phat om ah hum: there is nothing and no one. I am an empty space: a cavern of dreariness and emptiness: I am a castaway, alienated from the world: a lost and hopeless case. I have nothing to share: there are no observations for me to make. I am empty and lost. The world is a dreary place for me: I feel nothing: I have nothing to share. I am an empty cavern: a lost soul.

 

What would you like to know? What do I have to say, to express to you? I am sat in the green chair that I found one day when I was walking to The Salvation Army down the street. I have just come back from getting some pizza at seven eleven. Debbie Zelamba is not in love with me, which is a shame because I love her. She has a shop just down from my studio apartment window and two cute kids who don’t have much of a relationship with their father. I asked Debbie to give me a hug last night but she did not want to.

I have bed bugs in my bed now that I accidentally brought into my bed from my two week stay at the Beacon of Bed Bugs, which is just three blocks up Beacon Avenue, at 8^th and Beacon